Set Boundaries to Your Love

When people show you their boundaries ( 'I can't do this for you'), you feel rejected. You cannot accept the fact that others are unable to do for you all that you accept from them. You desire boundless love, boundless care, boundless giving. Part of your struggle is to set boundaries to your own love - something you have never done. You give whatever people ask of you and when they ask for more, you give more, until you find yourself exhausted, used and manipulated. Only when you are able to set your own boundaries will you be able to acknowledge, respect and even be grateful for the boundaries of others. In the presence of the people you love, your needs grow and grow, until those people are so overwhelmed by your needs that they are practically forced to leave for their own survival. The great task is to claim yourself for yourself, so that you can contain your needs within the boundaries of your self and hold them in the prescence of those you love. True mutuality in love requires people who possess themselves and who can give to each other while holding on to their own identities. So,in order both to give more effectively and to be more self-contained with your needs, you must learn to set boundaries to your love.

Control Your Own Drawbridge

You must decide for yourself to whom you give access to your interior life. For years you have permitted others to walk in and out of your life according to their needs and desires. Thus you were no longer master in your own house and you felt increasingly used.You got tired, irritated,angry and resentful. Think of a medieval castle surrounded by moat. The drawbridge is the only access to the interior of the castle.The lord of the castle must have the power to draw the bridge and when to let it down.Without such power, he can become the victim of enemies and strangers. It is important for you to control your own drawbridge.There must be times you keep the bridge drawn and have the opportunity to be alone or only with those to whom you feel close.Never allow yourself to become public property,where anyone can walk in and out at will.You might think you are being generous in giving access to anyone who wants to enter or leave, but you soon find yourself losing everything. When you have the power over the drawbridge,you will discover new joy and peace in your heart and find yourself able to share that joy and peace with others.

Struggles help us grow

A man found a cocoon of a butterfly. One day a small opening appeared; he sat and watched the butterfly for several hours as it struggled to force its body through that little hole. Then it seemed to stop making any progress. It appeared as if it had gotten as far as it could and it could go no farther. Then the man decided to help the butterfly, so he took a pair of scissors and snipped off the remaining bit of the cocoon. The butterfly then emerged easily. But it had a swollen body and small, shriveled wings. The man continued to watch the butterfly because he expected that, at any moment, the wings would enlarge and expand to be able to support the body, which would contract in time. Neither happened! In fact, the butterfly spent the rest of its life crawling around with a swollen body and shriveled wings. It never was able to fly. What the man in his kindness and haste did not understand was that the restricting cocoon and the struggle required for the butterfly to get through the tiny opening were nature's way of forcing fluid from the body of the butterfly into its wings so that it would be ready for flight once it achieved its freedom from the cocoon. Sometimes struggles are exactly what we need in our life. If we were allowed to go through our life without any obstacles, it would cripple us. We would not be as strong as what we could have been. And we could never fly.......

You can choose to Have A Good day

Are you having one of those days where things are just not happening according to your plan? Everything seems to be going topsy turvy inspite of your best efforts to make it a wonderful day.I know that at times these " so-called" bad days can erupt as a volcano just blowing away your peace and comfort, leaving us feel low and depressed.Then there are also times when we feel that many unpleasant and unwanted things happen simultaneously.All this makes it is impossible to have a good day everyday, but the reverse is also true, that everyday need not be a bad day either. Go out of your way to help someone who is already having a bad day.Seeing the other person's misery will make you forget about your own.As someone rightly said: "I complained because I had no shoes, until I saw a man who had no feet." Make a list of good things that you feel thankful about the entire day.By the time you have gone through it, you will already start feeling better.Probably once you start counting the blessings that has been showered on you, it will surprise you that God has been truly good to you. So courage my dear friend and Have a good day today.

Failure Is The Backdoor To Success

Anyone who is afraid of failure and afraid to face challenges will never taste success, so said our Professor in Marketing. I did laugh it off at that time but got cold feet when it actually happened in my life. I landed in this small tiny Arab State of Qatar in the Middle East to set up a joint Business venture. The project was to set up a world class Car Rental firm, possibly with an International tie up. Having decided on the project, I earnestly settled myself in getting into the details of registration, premises, stationery, finance, staff etc, etc. With a positive mind, I told myself nothing should stop me now. Having travelled miles away from home, I was more than keen to make this Business Venture a success. The name of the Company was chosen: SPEEDY Car Rental. We were into Business for about 2 months and the least expected thing happened. Iraq invaded Kuwait. I realized that we were in a tight spot now. Tension ran high in the region. Eventually the war broke out in January 1991, many people fled the country and the region leaving SPEEDY in deep trouble. As usual, "when things become difficult, and every effort seems to bring disappointment, it can be tempting to lower your expectations or even water down your goals and ambitions." It was no different with me. I thought of running away, hanging up my boots and calling it quits. I remembered the words of Thomas Edison, the famous scientist who said: "Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up." How I wished it was true in this case too! I decided to hang in. I kept telling myself, "I am not afraid of challenges and obstacles", after all they are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal! I stayed on through those grilling months of uncertainty and insecurity. Finances ran low, banks were up and above to get their dues. To add to all this, the banks even threatened to take all my vehicles that were hypothecated to them. In all this, I felt I made a wrong decision to move to the Middle East. I was now ready to face FAILURE. I was living against all hopes. I prayed that the war may end soon. After 2 months it did, but not before I piled up enough debts for me and my Company. Each day I kept believing that something good would happen. My Persistence and Perseverance paid off: as soon as the war was over, people started flooding back and the car bookings picked up. The company which was started off with 10 cars now grew five times over. It so happened that all who returned back to the country had no cars as they had already sold them off ! Speedy went on adding to its fleet and very soon entered the Top 5 bracket of Car Hire firms, which included the top names like Avis, Budget, Europcar & Hertz. We were invited by HONDA to visit their plant in Japan, which was a clear indication that the company had joined the big league. Things were not the same and easy for Speedy. We had to work hard and improve on our sales and service. In a short span of 2 years Speedy grew even more. There were newspaper articles both in the local & international media (Gulf times, Khaleej Times, TTG Middle East etc) about the Fastest growing Company in the region. Success, I believe, comes to the one who dares, even after failure, to think positively and look forward confidently. If I had to give up and do like others did, run from the troubled spot, I wouldn't be writing this article. After all, it's only the experience that makes a man tough. I have learnt 2 lessons from the above experience and would like to share them with you. 1. Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it. It means that it will take a little longer. 2. Failure doesn't mean that God has abandoned you. It means that He has a better plan for you. The so-called Failure is sometimes good; it provides us with a learning experience.

Don't be afraid of failure - it is a necessary step on the way to success.

Don't be afraid of failure - it is a necessary step on the way to success.

Kindness - a language deaf people can hear and blind see

Very often I bump into this young boy named Robin.He smiles and then extends his hand for a good handshake.He is truly special, literally. Besides being a special child of God, Robin also has another friend who is actually deaf and dumb.I see them exchange pleasantries just as we would do. They shake hands,they smile, they laugh and they even cry together.As I look at them, it just amazes me, how two friends who cannot communicate verbally but yet understand and love each other. It so happened that Robin wanted help with his homework. His friend though deaf and dumb, was at hand to help Robin with his work.The way they communicated with each other was out of this world, Robin would pat him and just sort of smile at his friend who was doing all he could to make Robin happy. At the end of it all, Robin with all kind gestures,thanked his friend. The friend could not reciprocate verbally but all he did was join his hands and then embrace Robin.They embraced each other for sometime.I guess that embrace said it all for these two special children who knew no language and yet conveyed everything through their kindness to each other. Truly, Kindness is a language deaf can hear and even blind can see.

ONE DAY AT A TIME - THIS IS ENOUGH

We keep living our precious life one day at a time. We come across people who tell us to live one day at a time.Left with no choice we got to live it everyday and I would say live “one moment at a time”. It is so very important to live every moment as if that is the only moment that is available for us. Jane Crosby, the English author once wrote: “One day at a time – this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past, for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present and make it beautiful.” How very true, can we add an extra span to our life by worrying, be it regarding the past or the present and worse still about our future. Be satisfied with fully living the present moment, trying to solve the problems within our reach. Know how to profit by the joys that God has in store for us today and leave the rest to His goodness. Remember that you have done what you could today; some blunders may have crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you can do much better if you leave the burden of your past behind and forge ahead with courage. One day at a time – that is enough.

The Executive who healed

There was an Executive of a very large Corporation, who lived by one of the busy streets in this very city of Mumbai. His apartment didn’t really have a good view but what made this apartment special was that it was within the walking distance to the sea. The constant roar of the traffic drowned out any sounds the sea water made. Of course if he wanted to, he could have walked out and taken a stroll down the beach. But he never did. He was so busy that he left home early morning and got back home late in the evening. Besides coming late from work, he used to also carry extra work. It kept him busy till late in the night. Exhausted, he would soon fall into a deep sleep the moment his head hit the pillow. Years passed by this way. The executive became increasingly busy and got engrossed in his work. Promotions came by very fast. His take home salary increased many fold. He soon became the CEO of that organization. He was proud of his achievements and felt that he had “arrived”. The constant thought of where he would go from there daunted him everyday. One day he had dream. In it he saw a wisdom filled spiritual guide, in the form of an old man his parents used to go to when he was a child. He told the executive that he possessed a great gift of healing which he had been wasting all his life. He never paid any attention to this gift since he was always busy with his work. The executive got extremely busy while at the same time got more stressed out due to his unearthly working hours. On one of his regular health check up he was told to slow down and take a vacation. He took the advice of the Doctor and took a vacation. This “slowing down” yielded fantastic results and that prompted him to take a longer vacation. He soon realized that although he had the fame and was accessible to all the privileges in the society, he was never ever satisfied. He further thought of a sabbatical from his job. Once he counselled one of his colleagues. The colleague was satisfied and he brought in another person and that opened the doors to this new found vocation of counselling and mentoring people. Besides it gave him utmost satisfaction. He quit his job and took this new found so called “career” very seriously. Besides counselling, he now started praying for these people and asked God to bless them. Very soon his fame spread and many people flocked to his house from all parts of the city and even the country. Surprisingly many who came with mental and even physical problems found solace and comfort in his words and his advice. The people would line up early morning to be prayed over and to be counselled. By the time the last person left it was late in the evening. By then it was time for his meditation which he did in a secluded room where he would not be distracted by the sound of traffic. After that he fell into a deep and restful sleep only to rise up the next morning fresh and revitalized to once again help the people who came to him for help and guidance. He had found his true happiness in helping and reaching out to others.

Doing good to others

I pondered over it again and again. Is it worth doing good to others.Does that other person deserve it? Well, I mulled over this and kept wondering, why on earth should you be intefering in others lives and offer all possible assistance and help that person discover that he/she is absolutely good human being.I mean after all this, what if that person treats and makes you feel like a " piece of furniture" at the end of it all. In short, You choose(actually out of no choice) somebody who needs you and then you systematically work on the pros and cons of making that person understand and discover that he/she is worthwhile. I remember reading an article about this bold young woman named Avantika Maker.She was only 5 years old when her parents were brutally murdered by a man named Ranjit Singh. He spent close to 17 years in prison. Avantika after so many years who had witnessed her parents murder and was filled with anger and remorse, later in life, not only forgave Ranjit but also worked for his release from prison. I wonder why did Avantika forgive Ranjit and even got him out of prison!Why did she do good to a person who was according to the society "worthless" human being. Yet another incident of a person whom I know very well, was treated to a volley of unpleasant words, even to an extent of "hating" for the very good that he had done to uplift that person and help discover the person's worth in the society. Why I ask,does one need to even take up this yeoman's service (so to say) of counselling or offering that advice to people around? It may sound absurd and wierd, why did Jesus had to forgive those who abused him and even crucified him? Jesus knew that at the end of it all, it was between Him and God and not between Him and the human beings.I am sure Avantika or the person whom we spoke about earlier,did have one thing in common: the quality of reaching out to people unconditionally and expecting nothing in return. After all we do it for the sake of God and in light of this, isn't it true what Mother Teresa said: It is always between you and God and not between You and others.

Creativity

We are Unique,precious and worthwhile. Our fear is not that we are inadequte but that we are powerful beyond measure.It is our light and not our darkness that frightens us most.We may ask ourselves, "Who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous,talented and fabulous?" Actually,what and who are you not to be? You are a child of God and all that you do is preciuos and worthwhile in His eyes. So go ahead and do Big things, you were made for it.You can achieve the mighty if you only focus on your goal. Be creative and then watch and see how the world will stand in awe of your achievements.

Give Me a Break

A devout religious man fell on hard times. So he took to praying in the following fashion: "Oh God, remember all the years I served you as best as i could,asking for nothing in return.Now that I am old and bankrupt I am going to ask you a favour for the first time in my life and I am sure you will not say NO. Please allow me to win the lottery. Days passed.Then weeks and months.But nothing happened.Finally,almost driven to despair,he cried out one night,"Why don't you give me a break,God?" He suddenly heard the voice of God replying,"Give me a break yourself! Why don't you buy a lottery ticket?" Well, what can I say,Do you want God to give you that "break" in your life too? Make sure that while you pray, you also take action.

Testimony of Kapil Dev

Like everyone else I, too, had heard of Mother Teresa but never met her till the very end of her life. I wonder why. Some things have no explanation. The Indian cricket team won the Prudential Cup in 1983. It was a great victory. I was married to Romi, a Pakistani, and leading a life of fulfillment. But the happiness of having a child eluded us. Even 14 years after marriage, we remained childless.We were written about in newspapers, and we appeared happy.But no one saw one aspect of our life that had created a vacuum. In 1995, we visited Kolkata for some work.It was then that a friend of mine took us to meet Mother Teresa.The friend introduced us to Mother. She appeared frail. Despite her health issues, the meeting made us very happy. Our friend informed Mother about the unhappiness in our life. She blessed us and then said, “Do not worry, God is kind.” I felt as if she would allow us to adopt a child from one of her orphanages. She spoke in such a peaceful manner and kept saying that God would look into the matter.I felt at peace. Months passed and I forgot about the visit.Suddenly, one day the same friend from Kolkata called.She said that Mother had inquired about Romi. I was happy because by then Romi was five months pregnant.We had not informed Mother about her pregnancy. I realised then that Mother must have inquired about Romi because she had knowledge of Romi’s pregnancy. A growing feeling inside told me that the pregnancy was occasioned by Mother’s blessings.It was a unique and spiritual experience.Our daughter was born a few months after that.I did not return to see Mother after her birth, but I always tell my friends that Mother knew all along of Romi’s pregnancy. Mother passed away a year later in 1997.I am thankful that I got an opportunity to meet Mother and be blessed by her.My daughter, Amiya, is a gift from Mother Teresa. (Kapil Dev was captain of the Indian cricket team that won the World Cup in 1983)

The Pressure of Service is on the Leader

Many people see the leader as the person on top - the one with the perks, the privileges and the praise. While that may be partly true, the fact remains that the leader is at the bottom of the pyramid. It's the leader who bears responsibility for the group not vice versa. It's the leader who must form the chain of productivity by using the very human links of associates and team members. The pressure of service is clearly on the leader. It's the leader who must make the hard decisions quickly and carefully who goes and who remains, he is the one making the painful decisions that plug the money flow.It's the leader who must ensure that the needs of the group are met and who is responsible for making the work or ministry environment either happy or horrible. He must go the extra mile if the Organization is going to go farther down the road. The Leader is a servant of all, not the greatest of all.

Staying Ahead

A sign posted on the pasture fence read; "Trespassers are welcome.Just be sure to cross the field in 9.9 seconds.The bull can make it in Ten!" In this fast moving age of information,it's easy to get left behind.Leaders try to stay ahead by staying alert and by staying informed.They read constantly.They learn how to pick the meat off an article or a news item and leave the bones.They also know the current news and they keep up on trade journals.People who are leaders are always on the move.They are always at the seminars and workshops and take every opportunity to learn and update on their knowledge.Finally they are thirsty for understanding and insight and know that knowledge is not a pond but a river! Wading through the current is the only solution to stay ahead.

Flattery uncovers the EGO

A woman was deeply hurt by the behaviour of her 15 year old son. Each time they went out together he would walk ahead of her. Was he ashamed of her? One day she asked him. "Oh, mom,no" was his embarrassed reply. " Its just that you look so young that I'm worried my friends will suspect I have a new girl friend." Her hurt vanished as if by magic. All it takes is a word of flattery or criticsm to uncover the EGO.If we think we are what our friends and enemies say we are, we obviously do not know ourselves.We are not called to be SOMEBODY OR NOBODY - for therein lies greed and ambition.Just be yourself.

What It Means To Be Adopted

I was once invited by a Convent School Principal to conduct a workshop for the students of that school. The main theme of the workshop was the journey into discovering of one's own Identity.As the workshop was in progress, each one of the students came up and shared of how they belong to a particular rich family, their ancestral background, yet some said they belonged to some famous parents and so on. One girl who seemed to me a very shy person came up last and shared something beautiful. "I come from a very poor family,I don't have any famous parents nor do I belong to a well to do family but the one who adopted me made me feel 'wanted' and 'worthwhile'.My brothers and sisters too are adopted.We are 20 of us.We belong to a home who provides us all the Love & Care". She further added, "I may not look like my mummy but then Adoption to me means growing in my mother's heart instead of her womb." All the students applauded this young girl who gave them the true meaning of Adoption.

A Winner Never Quits

A Winner is not one who never fails, but the one who never Quits. If you ever thought of giving up on your efforts, then read about these people who failed but never gave up. (1) 5th amongst seven siblings,he sold newspapers to earn his living,was not exceptionally smart at school.The first rocket he built crashed.A missile that he built crashed many times and he was made a butt of ridicule and yet went on to become the greatest scientist of our times and the president of India ~ Mr.APJ Abdul Kalam. (2)In 1962, 4 young nervous musicians played their first record audition and were declined as useless.They went on to become the world famous group ~ The Beatles. (3)A candidate for a news broadcaster's post was rejected by officials,since his voice was not fit for news broadcasting.He was told he could never become famous.Today he is not only famous but a powerful figure in the Indian film Industry ~ Amitabh Bachan. (4)A school teacher scolded a boy for not paying attention and for not being able to solve simple Mathematics problems.The teacher told him he would never become anybody in life. That boy was Albert Einstein. We may have heard so many such inspiring stories of many successful people and yet one thing stands out in all this, we may discard a child or even a grown up Adult and term them as " good for nothing" but God never discards any of us.After all each of us is God's Masterpiece.

By Loving the unlovable,You made me lovable

We love some things because of their inherent worth: gorgeous super gadgets, gifted athletes, brilliant scientists, priceless works of art etc.There are other things that are not worthy yet loved. I would like to relate a true life story of a girl named Rosemary. She had a ragged doll - dirty ,threadbare but the most precious of her possessions.Rosemary could not bear to face life without her ragged doll. When her family wanted to relocate from one town to the other, every member of the family carefully selected what possessions to take along. Rosemary chose just one article : her ragged doll.It had little worth in itself but was worth much in Rosemary's eyes. God's love thankfully, is not based on our intrinsic worth. It comes by grace, a priceless yet free gift that bestows worth on the most unlovable object. Some things are loved because they are worthy and some are worthy because they are loved.

LOVE THE JOURNEY

Most of us have heard the age old saying: "If you love your job, you'll never work a day in your life". While it could be partially true, I think the major part of it would be otherwise. Most people work very hard even if they love their jobs and at times they do things they don't like to do or are compelled to do. They give their extra best to satisfy others and at times beyond their comfort level. A friend of mine once said: I love my job except for that Boss of mine who demands things which are unreasonable and often times,at the last minute. It's probably more accurate to say that if you're doing the right thing - despite how you feel, despite the circumstances. despite what others might say or do in response - you will be satisfied with yourself. The work will then be a fulfilling experience. It is good to have an end to the journey but it is the very journey that matters in the end.If you miss all the great things that happen along the way, you will miss the joy that everday brings along, and the journey itself will be boring. So if you love your job, love all that comes along with it.Successful people do what is right no matter how they feel, and by doing right, they feel good.

DO IT ANYWAY

People are often unreasonable,illogical and self centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful, you will win some false friends and true enemies;Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway. ------ Mother Teresa ( 1910 - 1997)

Calming Yourself

It was a beautiful day and a young father was pushing the pram of his screaming child down the Corniche by the sea.As the father wheels his infant son along the path, he kept saying, "Easy now,Henry. Just keep calm,Henry.Just relax, Henry. It's gonna be ok. Mum be will be here very soon". A woman who was passing by was impressed by the young father's way of calming the upset and screaming child, she leaned over the pram looked into eyes of the child and said, " what seems to be the trouble,Henry? why you crying?" the father said, "oh no lady, the child's name is Ronnie. I am Henry." At times the best way to be in control of a situation is to take control over what's happening in and around you. Be Blessed.

PERSEVERE

PERSEVERE : It says it all.... P.... Persist no matter what. E.... Endure discomfort. R.... Request help from other people. S.... Steadfastly hold on to your beliefs and values. E.... Envision triumph. V.... Very consistently keep at it. E.... Embrace adversity as your teacher. R.... Refuse to give up. E.... Enjoy and celebrate every tiny bit of progress! The Best Way Out is Always Through.

Looking Back, Looking Forward

Our Life is a short time in expectation, a time in which sadness and joy kiss each other at every moment. There is a quality of sadness that pervades all the moments of our life. It seems that there is no such thing as a clear-cut pure joy, but that even in the most happy moments of our existence we sense a tinge of sadness. In every satisfaction, there is an awareness of limitations. In every success, there is a fear of jealousy. Behind every smile, there is a tear.In every embrace, there is loneliness. In every friendship, distance. And in all forms of light, there is the knowlegde of surrounding darkness......but this intimate experience in which every bit of life is touched by a bit of death can point us beyond the limits of our existence. It can do so by making us look forward in expectation to the day when our hearts will be filled with perfect joy, a joy that no one shall take away from us. Finally, nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our life time;therefore we must be saved by hope.Nothing which is true and beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuos,can be accomplished alone; therefore we must be saved by love.

YOU ARE BLESSED.: Motivation Starts With You!

YOU ARE BLESSED.: Motivation Starts With You!: "As you aspire to be more successful in life, your attitude towards yourself and others will play a huge role. Positive people learn how to h..."

Motivation Starts With You!

As you aspire to be more successful in life, your attitude towards yourself and others will play a huge role. Positive people learn how to handle life's challenges differently and use these opportunities to grow. So can you! Everyone wants a better life and if you are constantly working on self improvement, you will develop more self-confidence, better self-esteem and greater internal motivation to be the best. When you learn the secrets of teamwork and leadership, interpersonal communication skills and service, you can apply them to all aspects of your daily life. A word of caution: Do not be bogged down by criticisms and failures neither be carried away by your instant success, instead move on in life with self confidence and take the road the less travelled, which will lead you to your goal.

SPEED KILLS WHILE LOVE HEALS

Sanju is my childhood friend. Now a very famous and a rich man.He loves fast cars.In fact, there was a time we both loved fast cars specially the ones with all the modern gadgets in it. Recently, when I met up with Sanju and were catching up on the lost time and news,he told me something that I think will definitely stir our hearts and bring out the best in us.... the humane qualities in us. You know the ones we forget at times, that we are loving,kind and also good human beings. Sanju went on to tell me that he was still driving his fast cars around town and as if to say that he owns the road, he drives like a maniac.He shamelessly told me that he has been caught and fined by many a times but that did not deter him from speeding until recently, a cop slowed him down on the road and asked him for his license and registration book,he took Sanju's license and went back to his own motorbike and started writing something.Sanju imagined that the cop was writing a fine ticket. The cop returned after a while and handed over a sheet of paper to Sanju alongwith his license and the registration book. The sheet of paper was not a ticket. It was a letter by the cop to Sanju. It read thus: "Dear Sanju, once upon a time I had a lovely daughter. She was 8 years when she was killed by a speeding 4WD(a jeep).The driver was punished with a fine and 3 months in jail and then walked away free. He walked into freedom to hug his wife and 2 little daughters.I had only one daughter and I am going to wait until heaven to hug her!I have tried to put that incident past me and forgive that man.I have decided to do my bit and save other lives from speeding cars and its drivers.Be careful Sanju,lest you make yet another Father lose his child." Sanju says he turned around in time to see the cop pull away and head down the winding road. Sanju was dumbfounded, and he told me, NOTHING, not even those hefty fines stopped me from speeding my car down the roads but this "loving letter" of a cop changed my attitude towards driving fast on the road again.I drove back home and hugged my wife and my 2 kids while asking for forgiveness for my not-to care attitude in life. Yes my friends, Life is precious, we all are precious in the eyes of God , our Creator.Let's not condemn the people but through Love bring them to a better understanding. It is then that we will find the Society and the world that we live in, will be a beautiful place of peace and harmony. I believe that,If Speed,Greed,Jealousy,Selfishness,Pride, etc Kills then surely Love, Forgiveness and Understanding Heals.

LIVING IN THE PRESENT

Reality is only in the present. It is not in the past nor in the future. However, we find ourselves often living in the past or the future. Sometimes our past experiences may prevent us from experiencing the present moment. Some years ago, I was in Japan and stayed at a hotel which was famous for its seafood. Being fond of spicy seafood dishes which I was used to in Mumbai, I looked forward to some delicious seafood at the hotel. Searching through the menu I looked for something similar to my favorite dish in India. When the dish arrived, I tasted it and found it bland and disappointing. It did not have the taste I had in mind. After about 2 days I realized that I was not enjoying the seafood because I was looking for something that was similar to our Indian dishes! So the next time, I ordered the chef’s seafood speciality and when the dish arrived, I decided to be present to the taste of the dish without comparing it to the past memories. As I did that, I began to appreciate the delicacy that blended with the natural taste of the fish. Slowly I began appreciate that seafood dish and even began to enjoy it. Yet another thing that clutters our mind is the anxiety about the future. This can also prevent us from experiencing the present. We particularly notice this in our youth today who are studying for their exams. As they study they worry about so many things. Will I remember the stuff? Will I be able to complete my exam paper? Will there be tricky questions? What if I fail? Will I get a job later and so on. Their worries about the future prevent them from concentrating and focussing on their studies, which is the present moment. The future blocks the present. How much better off would these youth be if they could stay in the present moment and get their work done. The same formula applies to us too. Live in the Present.

Savor the coffee, not the cups!

A story is told about a group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee. When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups have been taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. Be assured added the Professor, the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups, said the Professor. Isn't Life very much like that “coffee” and the position that we hold in the society like the “cups”? Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee. Savor the coffee, not the cups! The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly.

An Optimist

The doors of opportunity are open to the optimist. Gates of achievement swing wide for the person who sees infinite possibilities in the insignificant. Most of us would rather be around a person who sees hope in the future than one who sees nothing but trouble ahead. I’m talking about the kind of optimism which sees a solution in every problem, optimism that looks for the solution instead of concentrating on the problem. Optimism is a valid approach to life because when we encounter difficulties, if we are optimistic we will immediately start thinking about a solution to the difficulty, whereas the pessimist will look at a problem and ask, “I wonder what’s going to happen next?” or say, “There’s nothing I can do.” An optimistic person becomes aware of problems, and also recognizes the solution; knows about difficulties, but believes they can be overcome; sees the negative, but accentuates the positive; is exposed to the worst, but expects the best; has reason to complain, but prefers to smile.”

Break Down, Break through

Loss of control,shattered dreams,betrayed trusts,breakdowns of one sort or another - such crises test your faith. We would prefer not to go through them, but what choice do we have? We have to carry on as does the captain who must steer his ship into the storm to find safe port or the pilot who must land a plane low on fuel. The deliverance promised on the other side gives them courage they need to get past the danger.When we feel least ready,tough times come upon us.It's like living for years with a beautiful,admired ,intact set of fine china. Suddenly one piece after another cracks and breaks.There are no replacements.We have to either live with a mismatched set or buy a new one. Has there been times, when your life was like that china set ? Perfectly together and then bit by bit cast apart,dismantled by a series of resistances that tried your faith to the limit? The only advice that made any sense was to wait and see what God was doing while you sought a new direction.It is only in due time that we understand,what really happened and why it happened.The turning point in all this is when you begin to see the light breaking through the darkness of uncertainty and insecurity. It is then that harmony is restored and you feel peace with yourself and your Creator.

God works for our own good - A true story

It was somewhere in the middle of Seventies.A young girl named Dorothy (name changed) lived in the Queen of suburbs in the city of Mumbai and she worked as a personal secretary in a well known Organization in Flora Fountain (DN Road). She was dedicated,committed and honest in her work.The Managing Director was very pleased with her.Dorothy was on the other hand in dire need of this job and with the salary she earned, she supported her widowed mother and her brother. It was that important time of the year,we all wait for it, a time where we expect rewards and increments for the hard work we have done throughout the year.Dorothy too had high expectations and so, when she was summoned to the cabin of the MD that day, she expected a good increment which would obviously help her to ease her difficulties of payments,medical expenses of her Mother and above all the tuition fees for her brother.Dorothy walked in the cabin and before she could even say a word, she was handed over the "pink slip" ( termination letter). Dorothy was shocked and had no words, at the same time the MD told her that she need not wait in the office and that her dues would be settled and the cheque sent home to her current address. Angry with God and dejected with herself,Dorothy felt that even God didn't understand her.She didn't know what has happening in her life,did she go wrong somewhere? why God,why me? Dorothy questioned. Gathering courage,she started applying for fresh jobs but even that exercise turned out to be frustrating and depressing with no replies to her so many job applications. Then one day as Dorothy was reading the Times of India and browsing through the "Situations Vacant" column, she came across something very ghastly. She saw the picture of the very building that she worked up in flames, the fire that occured had damaged building,Dorothy saw yet another image of her office totally burnt with the filing cabinets,typewriters and files strewn all over.She was speechless for the next 10 minutes or so. She couldn't believe what she saw, the news item focussed more on her office as being the "worst hit" and most of the people there were seriously burnt or had died. The next moment she was on her knees,praying and asking for forgiveness from God for her anger and for misunderstanding God's plan for her.( We all misunderstand at some point or the other,after all we are humans).She now saw clearly that God wanted to save her from this tragedy. Dorothy now came to realise that it was for her own good that she was sacked from that office without any valid reasons.She further adds in her testimony, that she got the best job which offered her a good salary, which not only helped to pay her dues but even start saving for the future! Many a times we too have failed to understand God's plan for us.He always does everything for our good.May you be blessed always.

At times it is good to detach.

You deserve a vacation….but not just any vacation. You need one that will restore your spirit, enthusiasm and energy. Spend your time far away from cell phones, computers, newspapers, radio and television. These are electronic leashes which bind you to a complicated and stressful world. Simply leave them all at home. It’s easier to do than you may think. Get close to nature. Take walks. Enjoy sunsets. Sleep in. Read a good book. Nap. Laugh. Have a long soak. Go for a drive in the countryside with no destination in mind. Have a slice of pie. Smile. Breathe. Unwind. Forget deadlines and obligations. Forget the clock. Eat only when you’re hungry. Go to bed only when you’re tired. Don’t stand in line. Steer clear of casinos, amusement parks and big cities. People who have disconnected for a week or two describe the experience as heaven. Dropping out of your workaday life is not only good for you, it’s also good for business. When you return to your work rejuvenated, you will enjoy new energy, enthusiasm, creativity and far better productivity. At first, Type A personalities (like me) have difficulty understanding and accepting this advice. Anxiety rises in them just thinking about disconnecting. However, when they get past the anxiety and think a bit further down the road, they see a big business benefit. When they consider the possibility of perhaps doubling their productivity, it all starts making sense.

The Right Leader

John Maxwell in his book,"The Right To Lead" gives us a few positive guidelines on becoming an effective Leader. I found it both interesting and challenging. However,it is so very true that the Right to Lead can only be earned and that takes time.You must become someone others can trust to take them where they want to go. As you prepare yourself to become a better leader, use the following guidelines to help you grow: 1. Let go of your ego. The truly great leaders are not in leadership for personal gain. They lead in order to serve other people. Perhaps that is why Lawrence D. Bell remarked, "Show me a man who cannot bother to do little things, and I'll show you a man who cannot be trusted to do big things." 2. Become a good follower first. Rare is the effective leader who didn't learn to become a good follower first. That is why a leadership institution such as the United States Military Academy teaches its officers to become effective followers first – and why West Point has produced more leaders than the Harvard Business School. 3. Build positive relationships. Leadership is influence, nothing more, nothing less. That means it is by nature relational. Today's generation of leaders seem particularly aware of this because title and position mean so little to them. They know intuitively that people go along with people they get along with. 4. Work with excellence. No one respects and follows mediocrity. Leaders who earn the right to lead give their all to what they do. They bring into play not only their skills and talents, but also great passion and hard work. They perform on the highest level of which they are capable. 5. Rely on discipline, not emotion. Leadership is often easy during the good times. It's when everything seems to be against you – when you're out of energy, and you don't want to lead – that you earn your place as a leader. During every season of life, leaders face crucial moments when they must choose between gearing up or giving up. To make it through those times, rely on the rock of discipline, not the shifting sand of emotion. 6. Make adding value your goal. When you look at the leaders whose names are revered long after they have finished leading, you find that they were men and women who helped people to live better lives and reach their potential. That is the highest calling of leadership – and its highest value. 7. Give your power away. One of the ironies of leadership is that you become a better leader by sharing whatever power you have, not by saving it all for yourself. You're meant to be a river, not a reservoir. If you use your power to empower others, your leadership will extend far beyond your grasp.

Everybody Has a Dream

In one of my previous Organization I had a very senior colleague named Paul,who taught me not only to handle marketing effectively but also to deal with life cheerfully. It was one of those hectic days...management meeting,sales calls,planning my travel schedule,booking hotels,arranging appointments and the list was endless.By the end of the day,I was not only exhausted but was getting irritated with myself and everyone around me. It was at this time that Paul invited me to his house for a quiet "chill out". We made our way to Paul's house, although tired, I was all excited to chat up with Paul and share and learn through his rich experiences in Marketing. As we entered the main door to his house, Paul started singing that ABBA's all time favourite:I have a dream,a song to sing,to help me thru' in everything...... and so on.I was in no mood to listen to his song, I wanted to hear about how he handled tricky sales calls! As I leaned over Paul's shoulder to tell him just that,I was totally awe stricken at what I saw next.Two young girls aged between 17 & 20 walked upto Paul and hugged him..they couldn't walk steadily,neither could they talk properly,their faces were full of smiles but they too sang a song:"No mummy's kisses only Daddy's smiles,nobody wants us, daddy can you hug us tonight". I was still standing and watching all that was going on,totally lost in the beautiful singing, when Paul tapped me on my shoulder and asked me to sit down. Curious to know,I asked Paul, who these girls were, I knew that Paul lived in that house but I had never seen these girls. Over a much refreshing cup of tea and hot samosas,Paul went on to explain: I too have a dream, a dream to make these girls happy.They are my daughters and they were born as "Special children"{mentally challenged} and he further added,they dont have a Mother,"my wife died when they were very young" and that he is both a Mother & Father to these beautiful daughters.(of course he had a day time maid. I was moved to tears, in office this man never showed what he was going through in his personal life or ever looked for "special privileges" from his higher ups or any sympathy from his friends and colleagues,in fact he always helped us at the office and being the Head of the Department always motivated us to move forward in life. Paul's life has been an inspiration to me eversince,"If a man can smile through these so called troubles in life and yet excel in Corporate world, was there something that was keeping Paul happy and smiling inspite of his hectic schedule"? Probing a little further,I found that every night after the daughters were put to sleep,he would spend " silent time" with his creator, who not only strengthened him and gave him the courage but also helped him to move forward in life with a smile on his face. I finished my tea and was now making my way out, when Paul said to me:"All of us have dreams,and sometimes shattered ones, take it to God in prayer and He will make your dreams whole".How true I said to myself and I seen that today! As he bid me good bye and I turned to walk away from him,I heard in that distant night Paul's voice once again singing that song to his daughters: I have a dream, a song to sing, to help me through in everything.... and then the daughters singing to Paul: "No mummy's kisses only Daddy's smiles,nobody wants us, daddy can you hug us tonight". The song faded as my cab moved away into the dark and lonely streets of Mumbai.

A Humanity Race

It was a Sports Stadium. Eight Children were standing on the track to participate in a running event. * Ready! * Steady! * Bang !!! With the sound of Toy pistol, All eight girls started running. Hardly had they covered ten to fifteen steps, when one of the smaller girls slipped and fell down, Due to bruises and pain she started crying. When the other seven girls heard the little girl cry they stopped running, stood for a while and turned back. Seeing the girl on the track they all ran to help. One among them bent down, picked her up and kissed her gently And enquired as to how she was.. They then lifted the fallen girl pacifying her. Two of them held her firmly while all seven joined hands together and walked together towards the winning post........ .. There was pin drop silence at the spectator's stand. Officials were shocked. Slow claps multiplied to thousands as the spectators stood up in appreciation. Many eyes were filled with tears And perhaps even God's! YES.!! This happened in Hyderabad [ INDIA ], recently! The sport was conducted by National Institute of Mental Health. All these special girls had come to participate in this event They were special children. Yes, they were Mentally Challenged. What did they teach the WORLD.? Teamwork.? Humanity.? Equality among all.?? Successful people help others who are slow in learning So that they are not left far behind. This is really a great message... Spread it.! We rarely find this unity,teamwork amongst us, why? Is it because we have taken everything and everyone for granted?

TRUE CONCERN FOR OTHERS

There is a true story narrated by Roy Popkin of a very touching experience.An old man collapsed on a street corner in Brooklyn, New York and was rushed to kings County Hospital. The nurse on duty, after some inquiry discovered that a certain marine stationed in North carolina might be the man's son. She called the officer-in-charge and requested that the marine be sent to the hospital. When the marine arrived, she took him immediately to the bedside of the dying man and said, "Your son's here". the old man was heavily sedated but slowly he reached out his hand.the marine grasped it gently and held it for the next four hours. The nurses asked the marine to go out and relax for a while,but he didn't.After the man died, the marine asked the nurse,"Who was that man?" Wasn't he your father? the nurse questioned. "No" said the marine, but I saw that he was dying and needed a son badly, so I stayed. Here we have a beautiful example of love and Concern which is supposed to be practised by all irrespective of what religion or background we come from. Truly Love & Concern has no limits,no relatives and embraces all in a special way. True Concern has no limits and is unconditional. It recognizes every one as a human being in need of Love. After all No man can live as an Island.

The Legend of the Cap and Gown

Long ago, in ancient Greece, when formal education was for the very rich or the very determined, a wise old teacher was approached by a group of noblemen. “Our sons have completed their studies and it’s is time for them to return to their homes and live in the style befitting their station. Tomorrow we will present them at a great banquet. Be sure they are appropriately dressed in their finest robes.” The following day, the banquet hall was filled with royalty dressed in dazzling finery. The great moment came when the students entered the banquet hall with their beloved teacher. A cry of disappointment arose from the crowd, for behold their young men were dressed not in the garments of the noble but in simple robes of sackcloth, each carrying a mortarboard - the mark of a common workman! “What is the meaning of this?” cried the noblemen. “Our sons were to be dressed in their finest garments!” The wise teacher replied, “But they are! Your sons are dressed in the clothing of the mason, for their destiny is to build. Some, as architects, will build cities, some as teachers, will build lives; some as physicians, will restore bodies - but all will be builders on the solid foundation of knowledge.” And to this day all graduates wear a cap and gown - proudly symbolizing the value of education, and the fact that they are builders of their future and the future of our world. We cannot all be great and famous in the sense in which these two words are usually defined, but all of us can use what time and talents God has given us to help others. “There is no greater sermon than a sermon in shoes,” leaving a shining footprint for someone else to follow.

No Problem Lasts Forever

No problem lasts forever. No matter how permanently fixed in the center of our lives it may seem, whatever we experience in this ever-changing life is sure to pass. Even pain.

Difficult situations often bring out qualities in us that otherwise might not have risen to the surface, such as courage, faith, and our need for one another. All of our experiences can help us to grow.

But we may need patience. Some wounds cannot be healed quickly. They must be given time. In the meantime, we can appreciate the new capabilities we are developing, such as the capacity to bear up and the willingness to accept. Let us share our losses and triumphs with each other, for that is how we gather courage.

Be Blessed+

When I was eight, I moved to Sao Paulo, Brazil (from Cuiaba, Brazil) where I began to play soccer (football). I have always loved to play soccer.
I played on the Junior Team for Sao Paulo in 2000. We were in the middle of the Paulista Junior Championships when I received a yellow card. I was suspended for the following game, so I took advantage of the free weekend to visit my grandparents, who lived in Caldas Novas at the time.
My brother, my parents, my grandparents and I went to a water park. As I was coming down one of the slides into the pool, I hit my head on the bottom of the pool and my neck snapped. I fractured the sixth vertebra in my neck. At the time, I had no idea what happened.
I returned to Sao Paulo to train on Monday, as well as on Tuesday, all the while with a broken neck. On Tuesday, I called the coach and the physical trainer and told them that I couldn't bear the pain any longer. They sent me to see a doctor at the hospital where they took another x-ray. It was in this x-ray that the fracture in the sixth vertebra was shown. Everyone, including the doctors, told me I was very lucky that nothing more serious happened. They told me that I could have become paralyzed and lost my ability to walk and to play soccer. I believe it was not luck. I believe God was protecting me during that time from anything more serious.
Many people think that I became a Christian after the accident, but that is not true. My parents are Christians and they raised me with biblical values. The accident happened in October of 2000 while I was playing in the "base" position on the Sao Paulo junior team. Throughout November and December, I had to wear a cervical collar and could not play.
I began to play again in January of 2001, and after about 10 or 15 days, I was called to play for the Sao Paulo professional team. Because of this, I believe God had a purpose in that accident. It is something that happened just before I had the great blessing of starring as a professional in Sao Paulo and initiating my career as a professional soccer player.
As I said before, my parents always taught me the Bible and its values, and also about Jesus Christ and faith. I did not have a specific conversion experience, but little by little, I stopped simply hearing people talk about the Jesus my parents taught me [about], and there came a time when I wanted to live my own experiences with God. One of these experiences with God was when I was baptized at the age of 12. This was a very important step in my walk with Jesus and soon after many things began to happen in my life where I could experience God in a real way.
I need Jesus every day of my life. Jesus tells me in the Bible that without Him I can't do anything. I have the gift and capacity today to play soccer because God gave it to me. The day He wants me to do something else, I will do that something else and this is why I need Jesus in my life every day. I am successful in my financial life and in my professional life, but all this has come from God and is a gift of grace from Him for my life. All that I have, I thank Him for.
The difference Jesus makes in my life is that I know I will always have victory, I will always have joy, and I will always have success. This is independent of the situations I face or will face. This brings me great peace.
I usually tell the people who ask, that the Bible is like the user's manual that comes when you buy a product. It has everything we need in it. It makes me happy to read the Bible every day, to study it and to be in fellowship with God and learn more and more about Jesus.
I will win many matches and I will lose many matches, but I know that in all of them, God has a plan. This is why I try to understand the plan of God for me in each moment so that I can have peace during times of pressure.
Everyone wants to be a winner, but for me, the true meaning of winning is having Jesus in my life. It is a life of prayer, a life of intimacy and a lifelong friendship, knowing that God is our Father. I can say that I am a winner and I am victorious because Jesus lives in my life. No, I will never stop following Him.

Paid to Think

Read this short Anecdote and thought of sharing it here.

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Henry Ford hired an efficiency expert to go through his plant. He said, "Find the nonproductive people. Tell me who they are, and I will fire them!"

The expert made the rounds with his clipboard in hand and finally returned to Henry Ford's office with his report. "I've found a problem with one of your administrators," he said. "Every time I walked by, he was sitting with his feet propped up on the desk. The man never does a thing. I definitely think you should consider getting rid of him!" When Henry Ford learned the name of the man the expert was referring to, Ford shook his head and said, "I can't fire him. I pay that man to do nothing but think - and that's what he's doing."

Genuine Trust

A very simple story is told of a Father and a daughter who were crossing an old weak wooden bridge. The father who was concerned and at the same time scared to cross that bridge, said to his daughter,"Sweetheart,please hold on to my hand so that you don't fall into the river." the girl replied,"No,Daddy,You hold my hand." What is the difference? asked the puzzled father. There is a big difference Daddy, replied the girl. "If I hold your hand and something happens to me,chances are that I may let your hand go.But if you hold my hand,I know for sure that no matter what happens,you will never lt my hand go!"

In our relationship with God, the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So allow God to hold on to you at all times and He will never let you go!

To win in business, you must win people first.

No one creates success alone. To win in business, you must win with people. Running over people will only get you so far. To create true and lasting success you must nurture and invest in your people.

To develop a relationship with your employees, you need to build trust, listen to them, make time for them, recognize them and mentor them.

The main question every employee in every organization is asking is, “Do you care about me; can I trust you?” Employees want to know if you care about them. If you do, they will be more likely to stay on the bus and work with you. Employees are more engaged at work and will work at their highest potential when their manager cares about them.They are more likely to share their positive energy with the Company & its customers, thus enhancing service and the bottom line.

You are Great – A Reflection

Our lives are often swept along by the duties and responsibilities we have assumed. We don’t have time to reflect on the course of our lives. If your obligations and commitments seem to control your life, you’ll find these observations useful.

1. You are Great

You are far greater than you imagine. You are a unique entity given the power to create your own life. When you look outside yourself for self-definition you are giving your power away. However, when you understand and accept that you alone possess the power to define yourself and your life, there are dramatic changes.You will find new clarity, focus and confidence. You’ll also find that using this incredible gift is both exhilarating and challenging.

2. You are in charge

Think of your life as a movie. You are the writer, director, producer and star. You choose your co-stars and extras. Whether the movie is a smash or a flop is in your hands.

3.Your thoughts will determine your outcomes

This is one of the great mysteries. There are a lot of theories about this phenomenon but no one really knows how it works. However, it does work and reveals the astonishing power of your thoughts.If you think you are average, you are. If you think you can’t win, you won’t. Conversely, if you see yourself succeeding, you will. If you expect great things to come to your life, they’re on their way.

4. You Tag others too

Your courage and confidence to examine your life and makchanges will have a profound effect on those around you. When you lift yourself up, others are lifted up too.
Your life - Your responsibility: The first and most important rule is to take responsibility for everything that happens in your life. Following this rule puts you in command. Winston Churchill said, “The price of greatness is responsibility.” While I’m certain he was talking about fighting wars and leading nations, his statement applies to your life as well.

5. You have the power:

Life will inevitably send you your share of setbacks, problems, disappointments and losses. These things are beyond your control. How you react to them is not. Listen to the voice within you and realize you have a choice. You have the greatness to persevere, to forgive, to smile, to lift yourself and others up and to move on.

FAILURE THE BACKDOOR TO SUCCESS

Almost every person who has ever achieved anything worthwhile with his or her life has not only experienced failure but experienced it many times. Obviously success isn't the absence of failure. It is having the determination to never quit. Dwelling on the positive side of "failure", we will not only overcome our disappointment but even surmount it and taste success. I thought of writing on this topic, because all of us in some point in our life have gone through failure, how did we cope with it. did we allow failure to take toll on our life and career?

While on this topic, let’s have a look at some of the great Leaders and Corporate personalities. Many of them may inspire you as they did to me, but then inspiration alone is not enough, it is perseverance and the will to succeed, that will see you through many a storm in your life. Did these people fail in their lives? Of course they did!!! Did they give up? See for yourself as you read and discover what happened to them.

It is well known that for 28 years Abraham Lincoln experienced one failure after another. In 1883 he has a nervous breakdown. When he ran for a speaker in 1838 he was defeated. In 1848 he lost re-nomination to Congress and was rejected for land officer in 1849. These failures didn’t stop him from battling on. In 1854 he was defeated for the Senate. Two years later he lost nomination for the vice president and was again defeated for the Senate in 1858. Yet despite it all, in 1860 he was elected president and went down in history as one of America’s greatest presidents.

Walt Disney was the same. He went broke several times and had a nervous breakdown before he became successful.

Albert Einstein and Werner Von Braun both failed courses in mathematics. Henry Ford was broke when he was 40. Thomas Edison’s school teacher called him a dunce, and later he failed over 6,000 times before he perfected the first electric light bulb. History is filled with similar stories.

Without a doubt we can see that in case of the above prominent personalities, it is failure that provided the motivation and the determination to persevere until they achieved their goal.

No matter how badly or how many times a person fails, he is never a failure provided he gets up just one more time he falls down. Further more like a high jumper one never discovers his full potential until he reaches a point of failure. As one person said, “Low aim, not failure is crime.” We must understand that “Failure is an event, not a person”. You can never call a person a failure; it is the event that has failed.

It is the failure itself that cripples people. “No matter how hard you work for success, if you thought is saturated with the fear of failure, it will kill your efforts, neutralize your endeavor, and make success possible.”

Lincoln, who hated slavery, overcame his many failures o eventually abolished slavery because he had determination, a noble cause to believe in and live for, and the courage to fight for that cause regardless of failures and setbacks.

Who better than Gandhi has tasted failure, it was his perseverance and the determination that gave us the freedom. A cause to live for doesn’t need to be as mighty as Gandhiji’s, but has to be meaningful. Everybody needs something bigger than himself to live for.

Far better to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered with failure, than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory not defeat.”

In conclusion, I would like to reiterate, the only real failure is not to get up one more time when we get knocked down. Through every failure there is always something valuable for us to learn. In fact failure is often our greatest teacher, a blessing in disguise. The key issue is to follow you Goal and remain focused.

The 80 /20 Principle

Applying the 80/20 Principle to our thinking can help us make smarter, faster, more intuitive decisions. The 80/20 Principle (also known as the Pareto Principle) is pervasive in our world:
• 80% of traffic jams occur on 20% of roads.
• 80% of beer is consumed by 20% of drinkers.
• 80% of classroom participation comes from 20% of students.
• 80% of profits come from 20% of customers.

In most situa¬tions, you can gather 80 percent of the relevant information in the first 20 percent of the time available. Generally, the remaining 20 percent of the data (which would take the remaining 80 percent of your time to obtain) would not substantially improve the quality of your decision. Your intuition is good enough to organize the data and fill in the gaps.

Specifically, here’s how you might apply the 80/20 Principle to your next big decision. First, identify the top five pieces of information you need to make the decision. Then, decide which four of these five are highest in priority. Once you’ve gathered this information, you will have roughly 80 percent of the information you need, and the remaining 20 percent is less important. Now, harness all of your experience and your intuition to fill in the blanks and make a great decision-even faster!

One incident can change us forever!

In the last century a rich boy and a poor boy lived in the same neighborhood. The rich boy wore nice clothes, lived in a nice house and had plenty of good, nutritious food to eat. The poor boy lived in a cheap house, wore ragged clothes and did not have much of anything to eat. One day the boys got into a scuffle. In the struggle the rich boy won. The poor boy got up, dusted himself off and told the rich kid that if he had the proper food to eat like the rich boy did, he would have won. Then the poor boy turned and walked away. The rich kid just stood there. He was numbed by what the poor boy had said. His heart was broken because he knew that it was true.

The rich boy never forgot that experience. From that day on he revolted against any favored treatment because he was rich. He made it a point to wear cheap clothing; he intentionally endured the hardships faced by the poor. His family was often embarrassed by the way he dressed, but despite family pressure, that young boy never again took advantage of his wealth.

History omits the name of the poor boy, but the rich boy who developed such a compassion for the poor made them his life’s work. His name is recorded in history. He dedicated his life to service and became a world-class physician, serving in Africa. His name was Albert Schweitzer.

I’m not suggesting that we all be as selfless as Albert Schweitzer, but I do believe that we need to be more in tune with the thinking and feelings of others. Very few people have had as much impact on the world as Albert Schweitzer. Even fewer people have gotten as much satisfaction out of life as he did. Think about it and I’ll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

BILL GATES ON LIFE

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this!

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school.
He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of
reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your self-esteem.
The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school.
You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity.
Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault,
so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now..
They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were.
So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT.
In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer.
This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters.
You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF.
Do that on your own time.

Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life.
In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you can read this - Thank your Parents & Thank your teachers!

Genuine Trust

A little girl and her father were crossing a flimsy,weak bridge.The father was concerned and so said to his daughter,"Sweetheart,please hold on to my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The girl replied,"No, Daddy,you hold my hand." What is the big difference? asked the father. "There is a big difference,Daddy," replied the little girl, "If I hold your hand and something happens to me ,chances are that I may let your hand go.But if you hold my hand,I know for sure that no matter what happens,you will never let my hand go!"

In our relationship with God,the essence of trust is not in its bind,but in its bond. So allow God to hold on to you at all times,and He will never let you go!

THE PRICE TAG WILL BE HIGHER THAN YOU EXPECT

All dreams have a price tag on them, and the cost is almost always higher than a person expects to pay. Never once in my conversations with successful people have I heard the words, " Getting to the top was much easier than I anticipated." Everybody I know who has realized a dream has different war stories to tell. When it comes to achieving dreams ,it's impossible to know the complete cost up front.You will find out what it will be only as you undertake that journey. Actor Paul Hogan,who portrayed the movie character Crocodile Dundee,was once asked how he became successful. I love his answer: " The secret of my success is that bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could." Dreams don't come cheap and they don't come easy.The bigger the dream,the bigger the price tag. but the secret to paying for your dream is just to keep chewing.

Listening to Another

A huge truck got stuck under a bridge.It couldn't move backward or forward.Traffic was blocked in all directions.An official from the company arrived and all sorts of attempts were made to get the truck free.

A few school kids were sitting on a wall nearby,looking at all this.One little lad shouted across at the official,"Do you want to know how to get the truck free,mister?" Well,for now, I don't need your advice smart guy,said the official.

The young lad was unabashed as he replied, "Just let the air out of the tires and you're alright."

The man stopped in his tracks,looked at the kid and smiled-and then proceeded to let the air out of the tires! In his heart he felt that the kid had let some air out of him,and brought him down a bit-and he knew that he deserved it.



Moral: Often our biggest drawback, is our unwillingness to ask for help in dealing with a problem,we are stuck with.

What Can we Learn from the past happenings?

I remember reading the comic strip Peanuts by Charles Schulz, in one of his comic strips Charlie Brown is at the beach building a beautiful castle. As he stands back to admire his work it is suddenly consumed by a huge wave. Looking at the smooth sand mound that had been his creation a moment before, he says,“There must be a lesson here, but I don’t know what it is.”

That’s the way many people approach adversity. They are so consumed by the events that they become bewildered and miss the whole learning experience. But there is always a way to learn from failures and mistakes.Poet Lord Byron was right when he stated,“Adversity is the first path to truth.”

Restaurateur Wolfgang Puck says,“I learned more from the one restaurant that didn’t work than from all the ones that were successes.” He incidentally owns five critically acclaimed restaurants in California and also opened restaurants in Chicago, Las Vegas and Tokyo.

It’s difficult to give general guidelines about how to learn from mistakes because every situation is different. But if you maintain a teachable attitude as you approach the process and try to learn anything you can about what you could do differently, you will improve yourself. When a person has the right mind-set, every obstacle introduces him to himself.

Back Up

Have you ever been talking with someone who made a thoughtless remark during a conversation, and as soon as he said it, you could tell he knew he had made a mistake? Yet when you called him on it, he refused to admit it.

No matter what you said,he kept backing up and trying to justify the remark,which made him look sillier and sillier.That's what people who back up do.And if they make a habit of it,they get stuck on the failure freeway.

If you stay on the failure freeway long enough,you eventually slow up and that's when a lot of people simply give up.

Try And Try Again

In my Corporate career of 30 years, I have encountered many a people who stubbornly tried to leave their troubles behind by working faster and harder, but without changing their direction.

The end result: they came hard upon themselves.

I would say they were like people who tried to get the square peg in the round hole -they placed the peg in the hole, then took the hammer and pounded on it.

You are getting what I’m saying. They’re working hard but getting nowhere.

I have also noticed that too many people, when they make a mistake, just keep stubbornly ploughing ahead and end up repeating the same mistakes.

I am sure we all believe in the motto, Try and try again. But I guess if I read it this way it makes sense to my human mind: “Try, then stop and think. Then try again”

Life is a do-it-yourself project

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife enjoying his extended family.

He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by. The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favor. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end his career.

When the carpenter finished his work and the builder came to inspect the house, the contractor handed the front-door key to the carpenter. "This is your house," he said, "my gift to you."

What a shock! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently. Now he had to live in the home he had built none too well.

So it is with us. We build our lives in a distracted way, reacting rather than acting, willing to put up less than the best. At important points we do not give the job our best effort. Then with a shock we look at the situation we have created and find that we are now living in the house we have built. If we had realized that we would have done it differently.

Think of yourself as the carpenter. Think about your house. Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. Build wisely. It is the only life you will ever build. Even if you live it for only one day more, that day deserves to be lived graciously and with dignity. The plaque on the wall says, "Life is a do-it-yourself project." Your life tomorrow will be the result of your attitudes and the choices you make today.

Step Up or Stay Down

A mule once fell into the well. The farmer who owned the mule heard the mule 'braying' -- or whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer felt sorry for the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth saving. Instead, he called his neighbors together and told them what had happened and asked them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery.

Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbors continued shoveling and the dirt hit his back, a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back: he should shake it off and step up! This is what the old mule did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up... shake it off and step up!" he repeated to encourage himself.

No matter how painful the blows, or distressing the situation seemed, the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up! You guessed it! It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well!

Sometimes in life too, we need to “step up” and move on. In the story above what seemed like it would bury the mule, actually ended up in a blessing for him. All because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.

Do we remain calm in the stormy situations of our life or do we panic and let the events take better of us. If we can do what the mule did, just step up and make that conscious effort every time the dirt hits our back, we will always emerge triumphant in every situation of our life.

This Is Good

An old story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"



One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off. Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!" To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.



About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took him to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.



As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off." And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad for me to do this."



"No," his friend replied, "This is good!" "What do you mean,'This is good'? How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?" "If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you."

Father's Unique Training Method.

There was once a hard-working and generous farmer who had several idle and greedy sons. On his death bed he told them that they would find his treasure if they were to dig in a certain field. As soon as the old man was dead, the sons hurried to the fields, which they dug up from one end to another, and with increasing desperation and concentration when they did not find the gold in the place indicated.

But they found no gold at all. Realizing that in his generosity their father must have given his gold away during his lifetime, they abandoned their search. Finally, it occurred to them that, since the land had been prepared they might as well now sow a crop. They planted wheat, which produced an abundant yield. They sold this crop and prospered that year.

After the harvest was in, the sons thought again about the bare possibility that they might have missed the buried gold, so they again dug up the fields, with the same result. After several years they became accustomed to labor, and to the cycle of the seasons, something which they had not understood before.

Now they understood the reason for their father's method of training them, and they became honest and contented farmers. Ultimately, they found themselves possessed of sufficient wealth and no longer to wonder about the hidden hoard.

Soar Up And Live Like an Eagle

Eagle is an amazing bird. If you have noticed an Eagle, it always flies at a very high altitude in comparison to other birds. They also fly either alone and or along with other Eagles but never with other small birds. Eagles have a very strong and sharp vision, their ability to focus on something up to 6 kilometers away is powerfully used when an Eagle sites his prey. The Eagle then narrows his entire focus on it and sets out to get it at any cost. It will never move or divert its focus from the prey and it will surmount any difficulty or obstacle, in order to achieve its goal – that is, to grab the prey.

As we look at our lives and our careers, we need to ask ourselves ,do we in the first place have a purpose, a plan, a goal or a vision, be it personal or professional? Just like the Eagle who focuses its vision on the prey and goes about getting it , do we remain focused no matter what obstacles or hurdles come our way. If we remain focused on our Vision ,we are sure to succeed in achieving our Goal.

Yet again, Eagles love the storm, when the clouds gather the Eagles get very excited. In fact , the Eagle uses the storm’s wind to lift it higher; once it finds the wing of the storm the Eagle uses the raging storm to rise higher above the clouds. This gives the Eagle an opportunity to glide and then rest its wings. In the meantime, all the other birds hide away in the leaves and branches of the trees.

Our lives will never be free of any storms and difficulties, but the point is, do we use the storms that come in our personal and professional lives to rise to greater heights or do we get bogged down and allow the storm to get higher than us. There’s an English song that goes on as “ when the going gets tough, the tough gets going”. Achievers relish challenges and use them to their advantage. As an Achiever, do you welcome the storm, may be a sudden change in your personal plans or on the professional front it could be the stiff and new competition from the others in the field, do we use that very storm to send all the small and big players back into their very Cocoon.

Finally, when we look at the nest of an Eagle, it is always made up of twigs, then the thorns and on the top of it all - the soft grass. The Eagle goes on to add its own feathers to the soft grass that is on the top. The young one of an Eagle is thought how to fly from this very nest. The Eaglet is first thrown outside the nest by the mother Eagle, being scared the Eaglet jumps back into the nest, the Eagle then takes off the soft layers of the nest leaving the thorns bare; when the scared Eaglet jumps again into the nest, it is pricked by the thorns, this goes on until the Eaglet learns how to fly with the help of the Mother Eagle.

In life, we will be pricked by thorns, telling us that sometimes being too comfortable and seeking security where we are, may result into our not experiencing life, not progressing, and not learning at all. The thorns of life come to teach us that we need to grow, to get out of our comfort zone and experience the world outside and the challenges it has to offer to us. So go on Soar Up and Live like an Eagle!

We Are Blessed so that We can be A Blessing to others.

A young boy who was very fond of Masala Dosa entered an Udipi Restaurant in suburban Mumbai and sat at a table. When the waiter, a young boy poorly dressed lad, placed a glass of water in front of him, the boy asked: “ How much does a Masala Dosa cost?” “Twenty Five rupees” said the waiter. The boy pulled out some coins from his pocket and carefully counted them. Then he asked, “ How much does a Sada Dosa cost?” “Fifteen rupees” said the waiter abruptly, who was now getting irritated. The boy once again counted his coins and said he would have the Sada Dosa. The waiter brought him his order and placed it in front of the boy.

After the boy had finished eating the Sada Dosa,he paid up the bill at the counter and left. The waiter came to clear the table and suddenly noticed some coins left as a ‘tip’ in the plate that contained the bill.On counting the loose coins he found the ‘tip’ to be ten rupees. The waiter just couldn’t believe that the boy who was haggling for the price of Masala Dosa ate the Sada Dosa instead, only because he wanted to give the remaining money to him as a ‘tip’.

Very often we are under the impression that Generosity is limited to a certain type and category of people. There are many people who are generous and concerned about others and that include the middle and poor class of people.

The boy mentioned above must have recognized the economic condition of the poor waiter boy by the way he was poorly dressed.He himself was not ‘well to do’ as is evident from the coins he had collected for his Masala Dosa, but that did not hinder him from sharing his meagre collection of coins he had by denying himself the Masala Dosa which he loved to eat every time.

God has blessed each one of us with the power of generosity. Let us be conscious of this great gift and make use of it at every opportunity that comes our way.

We are blessed by God so that we can be a blessing to others!

Leadership is Influence

Leadership. It’s all about influence. Without influence, effective leadership does not exist, yet too many people in positions of responsibility rely solely on their official title, assuming they have influence on their direct reports.

They may have less influence than they know. Influence comes from more than just a title. While position carries some influence, true influence happens with a heart connection. Did you know that influence can be effortless? When we live a life of authenticity and integrity with humility, vulnerability and a servant’s heart, people will be compelled to follow.

A true leader needs no title or position. Leaders influence with their lives.

As I sit here in the unusual quiet of a local coffee shop, I can’t help but think about a dear friend’s influence in my life. We are still friends with a deep understanding and respect for each other. We didn’t work for the same company, in fact he was not even from the Corporate sector, but yes, we shared a passion for a common cause – making others happy! I’m surrounded by and forever changed by his influence and I don’t even know how it happened.

Because of his influence, I’m now into mentoring, counseling, working on different assignments which involve motivating people through my talks and workshops. All these years ( almost 8 years) it’s been so satisfying just to see people smile. In other words, just helping people discover their true Identity and making them understand that they are worthwhile no matter what their status or their official title may be.

Competent, caring leaders with influence have the potential to change the world by just doing what they do, being who they are. They don’t need titles or position. Who do you need to be so you can be a person of influence?

Were you influenced too? I’m sure you were. Want to share?